My sister just told me that Kim Joonmyeon is rumored to be a member of the new boyband from SM!!
Together with 8 other boys. This sounds too awesome to be true, so I won't get my hopes up just yet...

...

Who am I kidding, I'm already way too excited for my own good! :D

I don't want to alarm anyone, but yeah, sometimes I don't agree with all my friends and family members. It has even happened that we argue. I can get upset at things they do. I can be annoyed at them or think they behave like major dumbasses.

That's life.

And that's why I don't find it such an impossible thought that members in certain boybands maybe disagree on certain matters, even if their bond is supposed to be ever so strong and they say they are like real brothers and whatnot. Being like real brothers doesn't mean that everything between them is all lovely rainbows and bunnyrabbits. Especially if you also have a work relationship, which, after all, requires an amount of professionality. When there is money involved, things can get real ugly real fast.

No matter how much you love someone, you are still allowed to think differently, be angry, irritated or frustrated or feel they did something you find utterly ridiculous. Especially if what they did also affects something you worked really hard for and risk losing because of their actions.

Just sayin' XD

Always when I walk around my campus I seem to subconsciously hold my breath. I don't know why. I also have this policy of never eating or drinking anything at university.

So, sometimes when I come home I'm dead tired from the tension and, I suppose, lack of oxygen.

I wonder why I feel this way and try to avoid breathing. Am I afraid of disease? Or is it because the energy at university is so strange I don't want it in my body? Some people really scare me. They seem evil to some degree. Their smile never reaches the eyes and their eyes are somewhat dead-looking. Also, they have the most narrow minded and simply unfriendly opinions you could ever imagine. When I have to collaborate with these people it really gets on my nerves and I usually feel rattled for a long time afterwards.

I guess people are free to do whatever they want, but I get very apprehensive when I think that these people are supposed to be teachers. I wouldn't let my children or even teenagers near these women! 

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I have to remember to get out and breathe every now and then.

... I like it! 

I must confess I didn't recognize him on the cover photo :O 

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I've been watching the drama Kingdom of the Wind... not surprising, maybe since I really liked Jumong, and the main character in Kingdom of the Wind is Jumong's grandchild Muhyul (I guess he changes his name to Daemusin later in the drama, I've only seen 19 episodes...). Everything is so pretty in the drama: I love the emperor's palace, I love the vast fields and I love the clothes people are wearing. So many pretty colors! It's truly inspiring! *o*

One weird thing is that my sense of direction works in that drama, but nowhere else. Seriously, I have the worst sense of direction in the world (which is why I don't dare get a driver's license LOL!). When watching the drama I'm like "Oh, that's the road to Buyeo" XD

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Today, I spent way too much time playing Runes of Magic, when I should have been studying. It seems I'm trying to avoid studying at all costs at the moment. I'll make sure to get everything done by the deadline. I simply have to, I don't have the patience to do everything again :D At least I leveled my crafting! Yay! That has to count for something...

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Actually, I don't try to avoid studying. I only avoid studying stuff from the course I'm taking at college XD

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I'm reading this interesting book about how to be a really good teacher in college. It seems to have a lot to do with patience and creativity, and wanting to communicate with people (= students). Also humility. No getting on high horses. Or wanting to brag about the vast amount of knowledge one possesses.

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Yay, my sister is listening to SHINee singing Ring Ding Dong at Chin Chin!! They sound sooo good! ♥

... if people really will show their true colors from now on. There will be nowhere to hide, and I suspect some people won't even notice the change they went through, but it will be painfully obvious to everyone around them.

There is this strange energy everywhere. It feels threatening, dark and possibly evil. I'm not sure how I should react. People who seem nice on the outside expose themselves as racist, or extremely narrow minded. Don't think I can't feel what they really mean with those words. It is so obvious. They give themselves away with just one word. A whole horde of the nasty people talking all at once makes me want to crawl out of my skin and hide. When I come home in the afternoon, I'm mentally exhausted.

All the ugliness people hide inside needs to emerge, it's been hiding long enough.

I feel this energy in people I have to interact and collaborate with, I feel it in society as a whole. I don't want to know what will happen if it all gets worse: another holocaust? Didn't we learn the last time? Do we really have to go through it all once again? T_T 

Maybe we do, if we want to heal? 

All I know is that I will be avoiding these people as much as possible from now on...

I think people will start reacting like they are under attack, and start attacking in return. Only it will all be in their heads.

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Lately, I've been feeling sounds as sensations in my body. Some sounds feel like a kick in the back, others like something hits my eyes. This makes listening to music a very interesting experience: either I absolutely love it, och it feels like someone tries to hammer nails into me. I tend to listen to very soft and kind music nowadays LOL!

I love it when I introduce a band, or a singer, (or a movie or any other expression of popular culture) to a friend and they say "It was OK", without much enthusiasm...

...and then they return a few weeks later, all excited about this new band/singer/whatever they discovered... and it's the same band/singer/whatever I introduced them to! And said friend is all "Oh, I love it, I'm their biggest fan, you should listen to it too!".

Umm... Wait, what? 

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't love it. It's kind of annoying. LOL!

The reason I started thinking about this is:

I was introduced to this Japanese girl group called Perfume a few weeks ago by my brothers, who all seem to love them. I didn't think much of them at the time since my mind was elsewhere and kind of stressed out with too many things to fully appreciate the new input of music in my life. However, I totally fell for one of their songs, called Dream Fighter. So yesterday I told one of my brothers: "I really like this song". And he replied something along the lines of "Yeah, it's awesome". And we were both happy. 

... from the past keep appearing in my head. I found a way to deal with them, so that's what I've been doing (while at the same time trying to deal with school and stuff). Anyway. It feels like these flashbacks want to heal, so I want to let them do that. I feel lighter, but at the same time eager to get "cleared" as soon as possible.

Of course it doesn't work that way, I'm stuck with clearing the memories when they come up -_-

It feels like a "the whole life passed before my eyes!"- kind of thing. Only I'm not really dying (as far as I know...), so I maybe this is me moving up a level?

*waits for the brilliant lights to burst out from my body*

...

I guess it doesn't work like in "Runes of Magic" LOL! 

For some reason, I find it incredibly cute that Kim Joonmyeon has f(x)'s song on his CYworld ^___^

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Yesterday, I watched this documentary about mind control. According to the documentary, the way people feel about certain brands is similar to people belonging to a cult. It made me think about fanclubs and such -_-. And I found the statement to be true, there really are a huge amount of fans that behave as if they were in an extremist cult.

Fans often claim to love their idols, but a lot of the behavior fans show is completely loveless: Possessiveness, jealousy, obsession... Wanting the idols to always stay the same, harassing people associated with the idol, stalking the idols outside their building, constantly dissecting every part of them, writing or saying things like "I hate her/his *insert any bodypart*.

Is this really love and support, like they claim? No, it's not! Some fans are behaving like the abusive partner in a dysfunctional relationship, pointing out every mistake their idols do, voicing their (negative) opinions about the idol's physical appearance and so on and so forth.

I mean, it's bad when I can't see the difference between fans and anti-fans -_-... Fans become scary when a large group of them have the same opinion, when they get controlled or manipulated into attacking other artists or other fanclubs, egging each other on to the point of hysteria. Sane fans, sane people do not participate in these kind of activities. No product is worth this kind of behavior. Because, at the and of the day, that's what idols are. Products.

And this is why I never support fanclubs :D
I would never want to be an obsessive cult-member.

Before anyone thinks I'm completely heartless, I do recognize that idols are people. I support them as human beings. Once I've started supporting an idol or an artist, it doesn't matter to me what she or he gets up to. I support them. Through leaving the band, changing members... I want them to evolve and change, try new things and live. Because that's what human beings do.

... I found out that Kim Joonmyeon has a lovely voice.

I kind of expected that, but still, it's nice to know for sure :D

How I wish he could have debuted this year, but I guess SM is as obsessed with symmetry as I am, so I can't really blame them for debuting f(x) instead. I'm sure the f(x) girls are lovely too... *sigh*

When the revolution comes, it will be swift and brutal like a smile